Spoilers!
by Earendil Eldar
Summary: It's Ianto's birthday and Jack knows that sometimes giving away spoilers is the safest option.


**Happy birthday, Ianto Jones :)**

* * *

It was a quiet day in the Torchwood hub. Almost too quiet, if Ianto Jones knew a suspicious lack of general chatter. He wasn't about to question it, though, quiet was fine by him. Especially on a rainy August afternoon.

Satisfied that there was nothing pressing to get done down in the archives or around the central hub, Ianto took the opportunity to slip up to the tourist office for a while, before anyone decided they needed him to do something they could do for themselves.

Ianto fixed himself a coffee in the tiny galley off Torchwood's intentionally uninviting "front," and opened the front door just a bit. It was nice to listen to the steady shower falling outside and it wasn't likely to invite a mob of information-seekers on such a wet day. Ianto could just sit and relax for a bit, catching up on the years of Torchwood history he'd still not got through.

So, naturally, Ianto's relative relaxation precipitated the First Law of Torchwood: "A moment's peace shall always incur immediate disturbance."

"Hi!" Jack chirped, parting those awful strings of beads Ianto had been meaning to replace for months. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Trying to work in peace," Ianto sighed.

"Ok. Uh…. Can I interrupt and get you to run out with me on an errand?"

Ianto managed not to roll his eyes. Jack was the boss, of course he had license to interrupt. Anybody would think a lives-long soldier would get that whole chain-of-command thing. "Right. Rift retrieval? Do we know approximately what sort of containment we'll need?"

"Nope, don't need anything. Except maybe an umbrella. Not a Rift mission. I just need to pick up some stuff and could use your sound judgment."

"Ah. You want to avoid the bright blue plaid suit this time, do you?"

"You told me blue brought out my eyes," Jack pouted.

"Moderation, Jack," Ianto said, finishing his coffee, locking the computer, and fetching his raincoat and brolly.

"You wanna drive?" Jack offered as they exited through the tunnel into the parking garage.

"Since it's raining and I'd rather not spin out, yes. Thank you," Ianto said, taking out his keys and unlocking the doors of his Audi.

"I'm careful in the rain," Jack protested.

"Oh, that'd be why the SUV has mud and road grit splashed up to her gunwales every time she's out in the rain, is it?"

"Careful and tidy are two different things," Jack smirked.

At that, Ianto did roll his eyes. "Alright, which way?" he asked, exiting the garage.

"Actually… it doesn't really matter. Where would you like to go for a couple hours?"

Ianto turned a suspicious look at Jack. "I thought you needed my judgment."

"I do, always."

"What's going on, Jack?"

Jack sighed. "Ok, I wasn't supposed to tell you anything… but I know you, you won't be very grateful to me if I don't."

Ianto put his car into park. "I'm listening."

"They're planning a surprise party for you. It was my mission to get you out of the Hub for a couple hours."

"And you didn't shut that idea down?"

Jack shrugged. "Gwen. Tosh and Owen both thought you'd really appreciate just not being bothered, but Gwen was pretty insistent that we do something to really _show_ you that we appreciate you."

Ianto considered what Gwen Cooper's idea of a surprise birthday party was likely to entail and knew he'd be clearing up confetti and crepe paper streamers from every nook and cranny of the Hub for weeks to come. "Just tell me she hasn't hired party clowns that I'm going to end up having to retcon?"

Jack laughed. "No, now that I did nix. So, I thought, let's go do something you will enjoy for a bit, huh? Then… you can try to act surprised when we get back. Because she'll have my head if she knows I told you."

"If I act surprised, that's exactly how she'll know you told me. If I tell her I knew all along, it will annoy her and reinforce my omniscience."

"Well, I can't argue with that," Jack decided. "So, where are heading? That tea house over in the park? Museum, maybe? Anything you'd like, I'm game."

Ianto considered for a moment that it might be nice to have an afternoon off to do something cultural and relaxing. If he was honest with himself, though…. "I think what I'd really enjoy is just going back to mine for a bit of a matinee."

Jack grinned broadly. "As I said, I'm game for _anything_. I'll see that you have a very happy birthday indeed, Mr. Jones," he said, leaning over the centre console to murmur seductively in Ianto's ear.

"Besides, it'll work off the inevitable cake calories," Ianto said, steering toward his flat.


End file.
